Duck Daddy! They've got ....

This one goes way back, but I still laugh about it today.

Hannah was just a few years old. (She's sixteen now).

I was driving, and I noticed a car behind us. To make things fun, I decided to pretend we were being chased by bad guys. I said, "Duck, Hannah! They've got guns!" We both hunched down. Hannah laughed. I smiled.

A little later, Hannah cries out, "Duck, Daddy! They've got knives!"

I laughed a little and then asked, "What are they going to do with knives?" Hannah paused, then said "Oh! They've got guns!"

You are the best - How old are you?

With so many kids, we can't tell just one of them that they're the best boy or girl in the world, so we qualify the statement by adding their age.

Last night at bedtime, I told Kaleb, "You are the best five-year-old in the world."

Kaleb replied, "You are the best - how old are you?"

"41."

"You're the best 41-year-old daddy in the world."

I reckon I should serve notice on all the other 41-year-old daddies out there -- My five-year-old says I'm the best!

The hard way or the easy way...

One of KC's favorite sayings to the kids is, "We can do this the hard way or the easy way." Hard way meaning the right hand of fellowship applied to the seat of knowledge or the easy way they can just do it without any assistance. It is usually preceded by one of the kids not wanting to put their shoes on or not wanting to sit in that particular seat in the van. You know what I mean — those everyday little battles that seem so important to them at the time.

One day his words came back to haunt him. Kaleb and I were getting ready so we could all go to lunch, and KC was the last one ready (as usual). After numerous times of running up and down the stairs to daddy's office to see if he was ready to go, Kaleb finally said, "Now, Daddy, we can do this the hard way or the easy way!"

Lord, Open My Eyes So I Can See

I'm not sure how many times as a pastor I prayed that simple prayer and received amazing answers.

Looking for a paper form, I prayed it. God said to check the kitchen cabinets. I didn't, at least right away. It just didn't make sense to me that the form would be in a kitchen cabinet. But, the form was in the cabinet.

Looking for shoes, I prayed it. God said, "Sit Down." I sat -- and I immediately saw my shoes in the top of a laundry basket underneath a table.

I haven't had as much luck with that prayer these past four years.

I suspect that God used to answer it so often because He knew I would tell my congregation all about it. And I did -- every time! This past four years, though, no congregation -- no opening-of-the-eyes-so-I-can-see.

Until today.

I was supposed to bring a DVD to church, but I forgot to grab it. I hurried back to the house, but couldn't find the DVD.

I looked on the dresser where I last saw it.
I looked on my desk.
I looked on Mikesha's desk.
I looked on the kitchen counter.
I looked on the kitchen table.
I looked on the dining room table.
I looked on my bathroom counter.
I looked on the coffee table.
I looked on my bed and all of my kids' beds.
I looked in all of the various DVD players in my house.
I looked in the vehicle I was driving.

I called my wife, and she quizzed the kids. Keaton mentioned hiding the movie behind the curtain in the family room. I checked, and there was indeed a movie there, but it was #2 in the series -- I needed #1.

Just as I was about to give up, I got the idea to pray, "Lord, open my eyes so I can see where the movie is". I then thought about how God used to answer that prayer when I pastored, and then... I saw the corner of the DVD case peeking out from under a small stack of papers on Mikesha's desk.

God did it! A four-year run of unanswered open-my-eyes prayers has ended.

I wonder if this means pastoring is in my near future.

Or, maybe God just knew I would write about it.

Uncle Roddie's Buddy

Our youngest son has an unusually strong bond with our Pastor from Bedford. Our kids call them Uncle Rodney and Aunt Angie, to say that they are important to our family is an understatement. We received word Sunday night that Rodney's father had passed away.

We were sitting at the dinner table Monday evening, and were discussing who in the family likes hot sauce. To which I told the kids Uncle Erik (KC's little brother) likes hot sauce on everything. Kaleb announced without hesitation that "Uncle Roddie is my favorite...I miss Uncle Roddie." I made the announcement that we needed to pray for Uncle Rodney this week because his daddy had passed away. Kaleb immediately started crying and climbed up in my lap.

Later that evening, I was talking to Aunt Angie on the phone and Kaleb wanted to talk to her. So he did, then she passed the phone to Uncle Roddie...here's how the conversation went:

Uncle Roddie: Hey buddy how are you?
Kaleb: I am fine. I am sorry your daddy passed away...(with tears in his eyes)
Uncle Roddie: Thanks buddy, you take care and be good.

Needless to say...I was in tears. I was floored by the compassion Kaleb at 5 yrs old felt for his Uncle Roddie.

Flushing the Outhouse

We were out Sunday driving today when Hayden said she needed to the use the restroom. We were miles from any restaurants or gas stations, but there was a state park just a mile away -- so that's where we went.

I drove past two shelter houses whose restrooms were too far from the parking area until I found what appeared to be a stand-alone outhouse fairly close to the road.

I checked it out. It didn't look bad, so I wiped down the seat and sent Hayden inside.

Her first question: Where's the sink?

I explained it was just an outhouse, that there wasn't a sink.

She looked around, looked through the toilet into the tank, and then decided it was safe enough. I stepped outside while she went about her business.

After she finished and started back to the car, I asked if she flushed.

The expression on her face read, "Oh my, I think I forgot!" She turned to go back, but then remembered.

I laughed, and she said, "Dad!"

That wasn't the first "Dad!" I've gotten from her. I doubt it'll be the last one either.

Hayden Says "He can wait..."

Earlier this evening, Hannah and Hayden had a nice sisterly chat. Hannah 16 and Hayden 7 share a bedroom and were just hanging out for a bit. They were discussing their future weddings and all that entails...dresses and colors and flowers etc. They talked about honeymoons and where they might go...Hannah wants to go to Ireland or Costa Rica and Hayden said Ireland too but would have to talk to her future fiance.

Hayden was explaining the age old custom of carrying the bride over the threshold and she proceeded to talk about the honeymoon night. At that point, she tells her sister "He can just wait for a couple of nights and sleep on the couch so I can get used to the idea of sleeping with someone...." Needless to say, this brought much laughter to her older and wiser sister and her parents. Kids are so funny!!

Thank God for Daddy

The other day, I was standing at our stove dishing up supper for our kids. Several of them had lined up -- Keaton (9 years old) and Korben (10 years old) were jostling for the front position. Josh (9 years old, but looks like he's 12) was right behind them. Kaleb (5 years old) was behind the others, but trying to get up front.

I filled the first plate, and handed it to... Kaleb.

Korben, Keaton, and Josh all protested, "but I was here first!"

I explained that it is always the job of the older kids to take care of the younger kids.

I then proceeded to dish out food to Hayden (7 years old), Josh, Keaton, and Korben.

As I did so, I asked if they noticed that I hadn't given any food to myself yet. I told them the reason was because it's always the job of the older ones to take care of the younger ones.

When we all got to the table, Josh offered to pray.

His prayer, "Thank you, Jesus, for this food, and thank you for Daddy."

By the way, Josh is a foster son we'd only had for a week or two. I was surprised that he started calling me "Dad". I was touched that he thanked God for me.