Visiting with Grandma Row

Grandma asked me, "What happened to your hair?" Used to be that Grandma talked about how thick my hair was. Times are changing!

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Later, I met Grandma's dining buddies Ruth, Pearl and Virginia.

Ruth is Grandma's roommate. Grandma said the staff put them together because they thought they'd known each other before, but Grandma told me she'd never met the lady.

Ruth didn't talk much, but Pearl... she's quite the talker.

At one point, Kaleb, my youngest, was standing near Pearl and she cried out, "Oh my God! You're just a doll!"

Pearl kept trying to get Kaleb to talk, but Kaleb's a little shy at times. Pearl would ask, "Can you say 'hi'? Can you say, 'I love you'?", but she'd get nothing out of Kaleb. After a little bit of this, Kaleb finally responded, and Virginia piped up, "Why he can talk!"

Grandma introduced all of us, and she did so as only a Grandma could:

"This tall one's Kyle; he's the singer. This next one's Hannah; she's the photographer. Then here's Korben; he's the reader. This one's Keaton; he's the musician. And this little one's Kaleb, and we don't know what he's going to be yet."

All through the introductions, Pearl listened, nodded and commented. Grandma then mentioned that we lived in Lafayette. "I've got friends in Lafayette!," said Pearl.

Grandma went on to say that I worked for Crane, and Pearl looked right at me and said, "It's nice to meet you, Russell."

Grandma tried to explain that my name was Ken, at which point Pearl looked directly at my son Kyle and said, "And it's nice to meet you, Ken."

Grandma just shook her head and gave up trying straighten Pearl out.

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Here's a rarity... a picture of Grandma! I managed to snap this using Hannah's phone. If I'd walked in with a camera, Grandma would've fussed, but she didn't pay attention at all to the phone.

Grandma and Kaleb

Grandpa's Cold Coffee

[Note: The family and I drove to Bedford today to see my Grandpa Row who is currently in Dunn's ICU due to possible mini-strokes]

When I arrived, Grandpa was nearing the end of his dessert.  He'd wanted Neopolitan ice cream, but they only had orange sherbet, so Grandpa settled for that.  Slowly and carefully, he finished off the last of it, then asked for some coffee.

My sister Kelly said he had coffee on his tray, but she thought it might be cold.

"Well, coffee's coffee," grandpa replied.

Kelly offered him the straw.  He sipped and then grumbled, "The least they could have done was warm it up!"

That sounds like the Grandpa I remember!

I'm hopeful that Grandpa's on the mend. My cousin Beth reported that he'd asked her to bring him back a Twinkie. He's also sleeping peacefully, which is significant because he fights sleep if he thinks he's ill -- He doesn't want to die in his sleep.

The Harlot Channel?

"Dad, the TV's not working!," exclaimed Kaleb, our 5-year-old, two days ago.

I came into the den, glanced at the TV, and observed it was displaying blocks of messed-up TV picture across the screen and muting the audio.

I explained to Kaleb that the TV signal was pixelizing -- displaying little blocks of messed-up TV instead of a good picture. He said, "Oh!", and I changed to a different channel with better reception.

Yesterday, same problem. I said, "It's pixelizing again," and changed the TV to a better channel.

Today, we were watching TV together. It started acting up, and Kaleb said, "Dad, it's prostituting."

I should have simply said, "You mean pixelizing," but I didn't think enough before speaking. I added on, "Prostituting is something entirely different."

Of course that opened the way for Kaleb's next question.... "What's prostituting?"

"Uh... that's a word you don't need to know about until you're older."

He seemed satisfied enough with that answer... Whew!

What To Do If a Pot Catches Fire, Per Kaleb

While I cooked oatmeal this morning, Kaleb asked me what I would do if a pot caught on fire.

I said that I might carry it outside and let it burn itself out, or I might just put a lid on it.

Kaleb said, "Or, you could roast marshmallows!"

I can see it now.... Kaleb, as an adult faced with a grease fire, heading out to the yard to cut himself a roasting stick!

I wonder what he would have done if he'd been Moses at the burning bush -- "Wow, a burning bush! Anybody got marshmallows?"

Duck Daddy! They've got ....

This one goes way back, but I still laugh about it today.

Hannah was just a few years old. (She's sixteen now).

I was driving, and I noticed a car behind us. To make things fun, I decided to pretend we were being chased by bad guys. I said, "Duck, Hannah! They've got guns!" We both hunched down. Hannah laughed. I smiled.

A little later, Hannah cries out, "Duck, Daddy! They've got knives!"

I laughed a little and then asked, "What are they going to do with knives?" Hannah paused, then said "Oh! They've got guns!"

You are the best - How old are you?

With so many kids, we can't tell just one of them that they're the best boy or girl in the world, so we qualify the statement by adding their age.

Last night at bedtime, I told Kaleb, "You are the best five-year-old in the world."

Kaleb replied, "You are the best - how old are you?"

"41."

"You're the best 41-year-old daddy in the world."

I reckon I should serve notice on all the other 41-year-old daddies out there -- My five-year-old says I'm the best!

The hard way or the easy way...

One of KC's favorite sayings to the kids is, "We can do this the hard way or the easy way." Hard way meaning the right hand of fellowship applied to the seat of knowledge or the easy way they can just do it without any assistance. It is usually preceded by one of the kids not wanting to put their shoes on or not wanting to sit in that particular seat in the van. You know what I mean — those everyday little battles that seem so important to them at the time.

One day his words came back to haunt him. Kaleb and I were getting ready so we could all go to lunch, and KC was the last one ready (as usual). After numerous times of running up and down the stairs to daddy's office to see if he was ready to go, Kaleb finally said, "Now, Daddy, we can do this the hard way or the easy way!"